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Top 20 Questions to Ask Yourself to Find True Purpose and Passion in Life

Top 20 Questions to Ask Yourself to Find True Purpose and Passion in Life

When I first started teaching, early in my career, I often felt something was missing. It just did not feel right. It did not give me the satisfaction I needed. I was not passionate or even felt like getting up in the morning to get to work. Writing was the one thing that changed my life. It gave me a creative space and the freedom to express myself. I knew I would use my writing to create an impact on the world in one or another, at some point of time in my life.

Have you also felt that something was missing in your life while you get up every day to go to work? While some people find their passion early in life, others find it hard to find the right path. If any of the above statements resonate with you and your inner voice, it’s time to answer 20 questions that might help you find your purpose in life. 

Every individual is destined to serve a purpose in this world. Don’t let the mediocrity and conventional thought process of the society define you anymore. Explore your real self with me, through a series of questions:

  1. Which area of life makes you feel fulfilled? What gives you joy, happiness, creates value for you?
  2. Which areas of your life are giving you stress?
  3. If you had financial security, what would you do with your time?
  4. Did you have any childhood aspirations that you think you would like to pursue now?
  5. How would you like people to remember you, after your death?
  6. Think of 5 people who truly inspire you. Write their names down and see which fields have they created their mastery in. 
  7. Which are your natural skills or abilities that you feel strong passion towards?
  8. Is there any charity, a social cause or project that you can connect with? Would you like to give that a chance?
  9. Which are the most important values in your life? Are you able to practice these values in your day-to-day life on a regular basis?
  10. Which subjects do you like to talk about with passion? Whether it is with friends, family members or colleagues. Make a list of subjects that you like to read about or explore them. 
  11. Which belief system is the core of your life? Has it stopped you from pursuing your passion in life?
  12. Which fears have stopped you from taking the next step towards your passion?
  13. Are you comfortable in taking risks to pursue your passion? Even if not full-time, can you devote a few hours towards exploring the passion and see where it could lead you?
  14. Before you embark on your journey to find your passion in life, which factors would you like to address before it (these may be a hindrance too) – money, job, lifestyle, society fears, environment at home etc. 
  15. Which actions can be taken to manage the fears and risks? Steps that you would like to take in that direction. 
  16. If there are other people in your life who are holding you back, is there a way to address their concern and win their support in your favour?
  17. Is it possible for you to overcome your fear of what people would think about you? Do you really want to keep up with the reputation that you have maintained until now?
  18. Are there any hobbies that you think could become a mainstream career for you?
  19. If you think about pursuing your passion, you might need money to help you stay afloat for 6 months in your bank account beforehand. Do you think that would help you gain the confidence you need to take the risk? 
  20. Think of the worst outcomes that could come out of making a full-time commitment towards your passion. List them and be mentally prepared so that nothing surprises you in the future. 

Take a pen and paper to write down answers to these questions. The more you write about things and discover yourself, the roadblocks to your success will start evaporating. The obstacles would seem to vanish one by one. They risk, the problems will start seeming smaller than you imagined.


I recommend you to write down the problems and find solutions to them. It’s time to forget about the challenges and find solutions. Time is the one thing that will never come back. You can keep buying new things to maintain your lifestyle or take care of the needs of other people. Unless you give yourself a chance to become the priority in your life, you will never feel the happiness that you truly deserve. 

You might also like to read: https://mitaliaggarwal.com/trauma-past-wounds/

Purusha

Two Halves of Reality: How Purusha and Prakriti Shape the Universe

What is Purusha and Prakriti?

The Two halves of our reality are Purusha and Prakriti. Which also means Man and Woman. The idea of two beings has always been present in our system. In order to balance the scale of our world, God/Brahma created two beings that were expected to drive the world. According to the Upanishads, in the start of the world, the Purusha existed. As he started feeling lonely, he divided himself into two and the second part was known as the Prakriti. 

Prakriti is the second half of the Purusha. The translation of Purusha is Man/Culture and the translation of Prakriti is Woman/Nature. In the Hindu system/society, we have always seen a patriarchal world where the drivers of rules and regulations are majorly men. The women are seen as the receiver of the laws and the executionists through their code of conduct. They become the example of the rules that are set forth. 

The ancient texts like Vedas and Upanishads were not concentrated on explaining the society rules, gender ideologies or social problems. It was majorly focused on the metaphysical world and the two halves were used as a medium to explain the working of the universe and the system as a whole. It also explains the reason why the world was created in the first place. 

Features of Purusha and Prakriti

In the above sections, we did a brief description of the concepts of Purusha and Prakriti. Here, we will attempt to shed a stronger light on the features of the two halves that collectively start the world. 

Purusha (Man)Prakriti (Woman)
Spirit of a PersonMatter
Subject – which feels Object – which is felt
Conscious beingStimulating environment
ObserverObservation
Inner Reality (Soul)Outer Reality (Gender/Form)

Purusha is understood as the soul of a person while Prakriti is the mind and the matter. The soul does not have a gender, form or even a name. It travels from one human being to another as a set of clothes. But the Prakriti is the outer reality that is seen by the rest of the world. It takes the form of gender or a form through which it conducts the actions of daily life. 

The Essence of Purusha and Prakriti

The Purusha does not change and remains still. The evolution of an individual is based on the spiritual growth of the soul through the actions of the outer self. But overall, its form does not change through time or space. It is the essence that puts life into a body. 

On the other hand, the Prakriti keeps changing and evolving. It offers the case for a soul and a medium through which the actions are actually done. Purusha is treated as a perfect thing that does not need to change at all. It is not a part of the world, it is an extension of the Divine and the Parmatma. Prakriti or Nature on the other hand is everything that you see in this world. The Purusha and Prakriti have to interact with each other for the world to work effectively and efficiently. 

The ultimate goal of human life is to help in the creation of a balance in nature. Other beings in this world are found lower on the creation ladder. The humans are expected to ensure that other beings are taken care of and the world runs smoothly.  

Can Purusha and Prakriti Remain Autonomous?

Although there are statements given that the Prakriti was created by Purusha because of fear and loneliness. But it also means that Purusha cannot survive without Prakriti and vice versa. Each needs the other to survive. They come into being together and cannot remain independent. In order to understand this complex nature in a better manner, you can always look at the different animals and their genders. The relationship between both paves way for new life. 

Relativity of Directions with the Two Halves

The learned and enlightened souls in our society have made attempts to explain the relationship between the two. They strongly highlight that the understanding of a Purusha cannot be done without Prakriti as both complement each other. The North and the Right Side are often associated with the Purusha and the Left and the South Directions are related to the Prakriti. The feminine things in nature are all given the connectivity to Prakriti.

The left side was chosen for Prakriti because that is where the heart resides. Emotions and passion signify feminism. The right side on the other hand is quiet and represented by the Purusha. 

The North side has the Pole star which represents the soul in particular and that is why the side is assigned to Purusha. Prakriti on the other hand is represented by matter that resides in the Southern direction. Similarly, there are several other elements in nature that symbolise the soul and the matter in one way or another. With this, they are given the category of Purusha and Prakriti. 

The biological observations of gender – male and female stem out of the same diversification of basic characteristics and who they associate with Purusha and Prakriti. 

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like to read: https://mitaliaggarwal.com/types-of-karmic-debts-and-equity-balancing-your-spiritual-ledger/

The Path to Self-Improvement: Leaving the Past, Trauma and Old Wounds Behind

The Path to Self-Improvement: Leaving the Past, Trauma and Old Wounds Behind

Have you ever experienced trauma or life events that have completely changed/shaken you, to the core of your being? 

Do you relive every scene of that event or have regrets about the way it happened? 

Of course you do, that is precisely the reason you are here. 

You are fed up with feeling the way you do.. You are here to finally step out of the trauma and transform yourself in a positive manner. 

Past events in a lifetime have the capability to haunt people for the rest of their lives. Dealing with them can be a challenge, especially if you do not have guidance in your life. In my experience, bad experiences can define your entire personality futuristically. 

Whether those experiences were with friends, family, relatives or partners, every situation is recalled by the brain whenever a similar event occurs. Reliving the trauma is very normal. In fact, it becomes hard for a person to place their trust in the success of new relationships. This response is nothing but a coping mechanism and an automatic way of protecting oneself.

But, is it fair to treat everyone in the same way without giving them a chance to prove their loyalty? Do not let your past experiences be an obstacle in a possibly happy life. 

Every individual is different. In fact, some people evolve and change into better human beings over the course of their lives. Are you putting in the effort that is needed to evolve yourself as well? 

The past can be daunting and cause severe lifelong pain if it is not dealt with in the right manner. If the thought of hiring a life coach or a therapist troubles you, then I bring you some simple ways to deal with the past. 

I have had some really traumatic experiences with not just partners but also family members. The toxicity and personality of people we love can cause severe distress. In the majority of the cases, we keep getting disrespected and hurt because of the undying love we have for them. But eventually, I realised I have to fend for myself. Are you ready to do that too?

Here are some proven strategies that can really help you take that one step towards evolution and becoming a better version of yourself. Break the shackles of yesterday and move towards a brighter and happier future. 

Step 1: Acknowledge the Trauma and Events in the Past

The first step is the most difficult one. Progress comes at a price. Transformation demands you to take a hard look at yourself and begin the tough road to success.

So, do not suppress your feelings. Identify the experiences that have shaped your personality. Take account of both positive and negative aspects of yourself and their roots. 

Secondly, accept whatever happened as it is. You cannot change what has already happened in the past. But the time to accept it is NOW! You might not have liked it but its existence cannot be denied. 

Step 2: Change the Narrative you Tell Yourself

When you recall the previous experiences/events, change what you tell yourself. Rather than using words like – This happened to me…, it’s time to tell yourself – The experience taught me to…

This is not a one-time process. You are rewiring your brain. So, whenever the thoughts come to your mind, make an effort to change the narrative. It will give you the confidence you need to stand straight. 

If thinking is not doing the trick, write it down. As many times as you need to, but write it in your journal and change the way you think.

Step 3: Forgiveness 

Step 3 is one of the biggest challenges in this path to transformation. Forgiveness does not come easy and it may take you a while to actually do this. But, remember that you are doing it for yourself only. 

Forgiveness does not mean that you are ready to forget. It’s about acceptance and getting rid of the emotional hold that the events have on you. It will bring you the much desired peace. 

Think of it this way – Everyone has flaws. You have yours too. You are forgiving others for their flaws and accepting them as they are. You would want others to do the same for you.  

Step 4: Positive and New Habits

By this time, you have already identified the values that you want to shape your personality. Free from the shackles of the past, you can now be the person who you want to be. So, it is time to reject the old and bad habits and introduce the ones that resonate with you and your personality primarily.

It does not have to be big. Small habits every day can have a big impact in the long run. Some examples of the new habits can be – mindfulness, journaling, meditation, listing your blessings, mapping out your goals etc.  

Step 5: Form Goals for Yourself

Becoming a better version of yourself can only come with planning and formation of goals from all perspectives. For example – spiritual goals, professional goals, personal development or emotional stages. 

There are many different ways of goal-setting for yourself. One of the most common frameworks used is SMART which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound. 

If you don’t want to dive into too many specifications or make too big goals that can seem overwhelming, I advise having daily goals or weekly goals. Start small and we can build the rest together. For example, you can have a goal of meditating for 5 mins a day or start a new course on Udemy with a focus of completing one video a day.

Start with baby steps. Change in your personality will not happen overnight. Do not measure your progress from the lens of others. 

Your speed and your journey is entirely your own. It has nothing to do with anyone else. 

Step 6: Make Relationships that are Good for you

The best thing that happened to me was creating boundaries. I broke relationships with people who hurt me, misused me or caused me traumas. If you cannot do this, then introduce new people who are positive for you. People who will help you grow in a positive manner. 

Get new friends who have the same kinds of interests as you. You can even get mentors, coaches or professionals who will support you with a positive outlook in life. Slowly reduce interactions with people who have the ability to cause you pain or make you relive the trauma. 

So, are you ready to leave your past and trauma behind? If the above information seems too overwhelming for you, connect with me and let me help you break down the barriers. Let’s start this journey. You are answerable to your future self and nothing can be achieved without taking one step forward, even if it is a tiny one. It took me years.. Learn from my experiences and become better in no time.

You might also find this useful: Self Knowledge-Values and Virtues

Why self-knowledge matters

Live Authentically: Discover Why Self-Knowledge, Values, and Virtues Matter Most

Since time immemorial, our values and virtues have primarily depended on our family values or the thought processes of the people around us. If you want to advance in your life and career, it’s time to break the age old patterns and dive into the world of YOU! Never apologise for being different and understanding the authenticity that separates you from the rest of the world.

Authentic living and depth comes with self-knowledge. It is not just about introspection and understanding yourself but also having clarity about the values that will define your next move in life. Whether it is from the professional perspective or personal, having a set of values can make your feet feel stronger on the earth. You will be confident enough to take on any challenge that is thrown at you. 

Every individual was born different with a unique skill. You can get an advantage in life only if you understand what is different about you. In this article, I have made an attempt to bring you face-to-face with the reason why you need to know yourself. 

Why Self-Knowledge is Critical?

Self Worth: 

It helps with building your confidence to a big extent. Embracing your real self can reduce the impact of criticism on your personality. Also, it can help you decrease the amount of negativity that you spread around you. Self-talk will become positive automatically. 

Confidence in Action: 

When your actions are driven by the values that resonate with you, confidence levels will skyrocket immediately. Your inner compass will tell you what is right and wrong. With a reduced confusion, your actions will be confident. Integrity will be predominant in your lifespan as well. 

Get Clarity and Identify Yourself: 

Having self-knowledge and awareness can help you map out your strengths, weaknesses, emotional status and much more. When you are honest with yourself, you get immense clarity. Coming face-to-face with yourself, being self-critical and understanding your true being can help you get the clarity that will help you break the vicious cycle of failures. 

Resilience: 

There is no human being in the world who does not have to go through a certain number of challenges in life. Life will inevitably give you a taste of one or more failures. But when you have strong inner values, it will not be easy for life’s challenges to shake you. For example, if you are confident about your skills and capabilities, losing a job will never create a panic. 

Compassion:

I have often seen that compassion comes naturally to people who are deeply aware about themselves. When I talk about awareness, I am talking about the weaknesses and failures. When you are kind to yourself and accept failures as a part and parcel of life, you automatically become more compassionate towards other people and the world as a whole. 

Get Freedom from Conditioning:

As kids, we are raised in a certain way. Most of it depends on the parents, grandparents, relatives, friends etc. When you can create a clear demarcation between the expectations of the society/family and your true self, you can break from the conditioning that limits your actions. For example, you will be able to take more risks in life and bet on yourself when you are confident about what you believe in. And the majority of the time, risks are transformed into success. 

Patience and Humility:

A well-aware human being will understand that patience is the key to success. When you are moving in the right direction, fear will be limited. You will be patient because you know the steps that are needed to be taken to achieve your dreams. This also turns out to develop humility. As we see the large canvas that God has painted, we see ourselves as mere brush strokes. With humility comes the confidence that is needed to take on the world and leave a mark for yourself. 

Keep reading and stay tuned for a guide that will help you discover the best ways of knowing yourself more deeply. 

If you liked this article, then you might also like: Types of Karmic Debts

Types of Karmic debts and equities and their roles in spiritual growth

Types of Karmic Debts and Equity: Balancing Your Spiritual Ledger

In one of the previous posts, we have discussed the importance of good and bad deeds, the characteristics of the different planes and residents of them. It is common knowledge now that the consequences of karma lead you to the deserved destination after birth. In Hinduism, the ancient texts highlight that death is not the end of the journey. It is merely the hit of a reset button. Once a body is too sick or old to host a soul, the soul simply sheds it to move onto the next milestone.

The nature of the milestone is dependent on the karmas that were done by a human being during the course of their life span. Considering the moral dilemmas that we continuously face from time to time, sometimes it becomes difficult to determine which path to take to make sure the action is accounted for in the good karma list. While there is a clarity on some deeds, for others, the dilemma still exists. 

For example, if a man is beating his wife day and night, is it ethical or moral for the wife to leave him or should she continue to serve him despite the everyday challenges. A choice arises here – preservation of self or following the Dharma as prescribed in legends and historical texts of the religion? The confusion exists. Free will is given to a human being for a reason. Your moral compass has to decide which path you would like to take forward.

Which Actions Account as Good Karma or Equity?

Keeping the deliberations aside, I bring a small account of some of the typical karmic actions that can incur good karma. The karmic decision is not just based on the action itself but also on the intention behind the action. If your intentions are bad towards a person but you are doing something good, this might also be considered a bad deed. 

It is often said that God is a witness to not just the actions but also the thoughts that spike up in the minds of people. In the Bhagwat Geeta, Krishna highlighted that he was the Sakshi of everyone’s mind and walked beside every individual to keep an account of their deeds. So, let’s list down some of the Good Karma (that can help in reducing the debts of the past lives):

  • Accepting misfortune as the will of God and continue to work hard
  • Completion of the Duties towards Family members without any attachment or expectation of anything in return
  • Giving Dakshina or charity without expecting anything in return
  • Giving gifts to people as a matter of Thanks 
  • Pilgrimage – travelling to the tirth sthan as per the religion. For example – 4 Dhaam, 12 Jyotirlinga, 7 Puris, 51 shakti peethas etc. 
  • Bhakti towards God. There are different Gods in the Hindu religion. As per the liking and personality of an individual, the right kind of God can be chosen. 
  • Puja on a regular basis to the God of choice. Temples can be visited for the same purpose or a temple can be built at home. 
  • Sacrifices through Yagna or offerings to Gods in one form or the other. For example, some people give up drinking, eating meat, bad habits etc. 

All the above actions are treated as good karma as God expects humans to walk on the right path of life conduct. The more we upheld Dharma, the more we are walking towards the path of incurring good equity. 

Which Actions Account as Bad Karma or Debt?

While you should be aware of the good karma, you must also be aware of the bad karma that can cause you to incur debts. Sometimes it can take several lives or rebirths to clear the bad karma futuristically. If a conscious effort is made, bad karma can be avoided. It can also help in escaping the Narka after death. 

Let’s grab a look at some of the most common bad karma that are listed in our ancient texts. You can easily find a reference to the lists in Puranas and more specifically the Garuda Purana. I have gone through several texts and books to bring a gist of the list here. 

  • Enjoying life without thinking about hard work, consequences and ignoring responsibilities towards family or the community as a whole. 
  • Caressing your Ego through actions
  • Ambition that causes harm to others
  • Greed towards money or other materialistic things while causing harm to other people
  • Dominating other people without thinking about their needs and forcing people to submit to you
  • People who commit sexual crimes
  • Adultery, rape, leaving a spouse or engaging in any activity that causes harm to the partner
  • Indulging in bad habits like alcoholism and ignoring of responsibilities towards home and family
  • Selfishness. For example, denial of food, water, hospitality and respect to the guests.
  • Oppressors, dictators, mass murderers, serial killers etc. 
  • Individuals who torture or mistreat animals. Also, people who disrespect the earth and the fruits that sprout from it. 

If you really want to really love yourself and would love to take a step forward in your spiritual growth, now is the time to know everything that you can. One step in the right direction can go a long way. Make it a lifestyle to incur good karma on a regular basis. A conscious effort made by a person can really help in improving your odds and making your future lives much easier. Eventually, you will be able to live in the heavens and lead a moral life.

Four Yugas of Sanatan Dharma

The Four Yugas of Sanatan Dharma: A Cosmic Timeline of Dharma and Decline

In the Sanatan Dharm, a cosmic timeline is given to understand the evolution and development of the society from the start. Many of us have heard about the Epic stories from our History that include – Ramayana and Mahabharata primarily. When the new generation is told to follow the traits of the prominent characters, they often argue that these events occurred in a different time when the nature of the society was completely different. This fact is extremely true. For this reason, an understanding of societal development is shared through the Four Yugas. Not only do the traits of the characters differ but also the society as a whole differs. 

Background to Understand What is a Yuga

A Yuga is a timeline of a few thousand years put together in which society’s salient features continue to deteriorate. For example, the Satya Yuga, the Treta Yuga, the Dwapar Yuga and the Kali/Kal Yuga. Many experts also state that a Ghor Kal Yuga is also scheduled to happen which will mark the end of times for this cycle of the world. 

The lens of understanding the four yugas should not rely only on the stories that have come to us from the different eras but also societal growth and evolution. Every Mahayuga consists of four yugas. And there are 1000 Mahayugas in one Kalpa. So, if you think you are the only one living in Kalyug, this might be completely wrong.

In the past, the Vedas highlight that our world was created as a part of one Mahayuga. The cycle of creation and destruction continues to happen to complete one cycle of life. Before the onset of a Mahayuga, Brahma creates the world which then completes one cycle. It is then destroyed by Kalki Avatar and Shiva in unison. This event paves way for the creation of another one. 

To give a small understanding of the number of years in each category, I have worked out a simple math for you as per the readings:

1 Mahayuga (Chaturyuga) includes:

  • Satya Yuga: 1.728 million years
  • Treta Yuga: 1.296 million years
  • Dvapara Yuga: 864,000 years
  • Kali Yuga: 432,000 years
    A Total of = 4.32 million years

1 Kalpa = 1,000 Mahayugas

This means: 4.32 million years × 1,000 = 4.32 billion years

In some versions, it is said that it takes 1 Kalpa to complete Brahma’s Day and 1 Kalpa to complete Brahma’s night. With the completion of one day of Brahma, 8.64 billion years pass.

Characteristics of the Four Yugas

Now that you have a basic understanding of the workings, let’s get down to knowing the basic features of the four yugas. I have made an attempt to accumulate all the information that I have gained from readings and popular understandings of the ancient texts in a tabular form:

Name of the Yuga%age of DharmaCosmos AgeMedium of ReproductionWay to Get WealthAbilities
Satya Yuga – First Yuga100%ChildhoodThoughtMostly Charity as Brahmans were highest in number and they are restricted from earning– Individuals had abilities like Gods. – Height of an average individual was 25-30 feet
Treata Yuga – Second Yuga75%AdolescenceSimple TouchTaken through Force, Wars etc.– Individual ability has been reduced since corruption started infiltrating. Powers were high with spiritual focus.- Height of an average individual was around 20 feet
Dvapar Yuga – Third Yuga50%MatureActionTaken through deception, cheating etc. – Individual abilities reduced considerably as spirituality decreased exponentially. Force and power was attained through minimal investment.- Height of an average individual was around 10-12 feet
Kal Yuga – Fourth Yuga25%Venturing towards DeathPervertsTaken through exploitation of the people in every possible way– Individual abilities diminished to the least as spiritual progress is at a halt.- Height of an average individual is around 5-6 feet.

Parallel Worlds

Have you ever heard of the concept of parallel worlds? If you haven’t, it’s time to research it. While science is catching up to these ideas, there are several stories in our history like Ramayana and Mahabharata where God himself shares insight into the existence of parallel worlds. If you think this is the only world existent then you are in for a surprise. 

According to the ancient texts, the same series of events continue to happen with the onset of each Mahayuga. It is for human beings to make the right choices and alleviate their stature with their rebirths. The ultimate goal is to remove the attachments to Maya and realise the ultimate truths of the world and God. 

In this article, I have made an attempt to put some light into the vastness of our world and its history. Just because we have chosen to turn a blind eye or rely on science more than the information in books at hand, does not diminish the fact that we as humans collectively have a choice to make. We can either continue to reject the realities and be comfortable with the environment we have built for ourselves. Or, just for this once, take a leap of faith, read the ancient texts and believe in the word of God. 

Where do you want to start? Let’s talk and explore the ultimate ways to make progress in your spiritual journey. Take the step forward with me.

Did you like this read, then you might also like to read about: Treasures of Samudra Manthan

Samudra Manthan - Treasures from the Ocean of Milk

What Emerged from the Ocean of Milk? Treasures of Samudra Manthan Explained

The Ocean of Milk, on which Vishnu permanently resides atop the Sheshnag, was once churned – this activity is also known as the Samudra Manthan. The churning brought with itself a big number of gifts and presents that were not anticipated by the Devas or the Asuras. Of course, every gift brought with itself a different level of excitement that could be seen on the faces of sides. In the following few sections, we will take a deep dive into the varied aspects of the Samudra Manthan and make an attempt to understand it closely.

Objective of Samudra Manthan in the First Place

Rishi Durvasa was one of the most feared priests in all realms. He had a history of getting angry fast and cursing people if they did not live up to his expectations. The story dictates that once Durvasa received a magical fragrant garland from a Nymph. This was no ordinary garland. The flowers were blessed to never wither, give a divine fragrance and were treated as a symbol of prosperity. 

Durvasa gave this garland as a gift to Indra in an attempt to please him. However, Indra did not give much importance to the gift and placed it in the neck of his elephant (his vahan named Airavata). As Indra started riding Airavata, the elephant threw the garland on the floor and crumpled it with his feet.

This sequence of events angered Durvasa tremendously. Then and there, he cursed Indra that he would lose all his splendour and prosperity in Swarga. 

Note: In some versions of the story, there is a saying that the objective behind the Samudra Manthan was not only to get Lakshmi out of the Ocean of Milk but also to get Amrit which could bestow immortality on the Devas. It was the most powerful weapon that the Devas could have against the Asuras (who were the pillars of evil). As the Asuras were getting equally powerful as Devas, an element for a permanent one-upmanship was needed for the ultimate objective of the Good side winning the battles.

Why did Lakshmi Leave Swarga?

Lakshmi is seen as the Goddess of money and prosperity. When Durvasa cursed Indra, who was the lord of all the devas in Swarga, Goddess Lakshmi immediately left Swarga and hid herself in the Ocean of Milk. The curses of Rishis were so effective that the consequences came into effect immediately. 

Once Goddess Lakshmi left Swarga, Amravati was shadowed with gloom. All the happiness from the realm turned down and every pillar of wealth and prosperity ceased to exist. With this sequence of events, all the Devas ran to Vishnu to seek his advice on the best way to handle the situation and reinstate Goddess Lakshmi in Swarga. 

Elements used for the Samudra Manthan

When all the Devas begged Vishnu to share a solution to the curse, he asked them to make arrangements for the churning of the Ocean of the Milk to invite Lakshmi back to the realms. However, Vishnu also said that the churning could not be completed without the help of the Asuras. 

As the Asuras also missed Lakshmi, they agreed to the arrangement on the condition that they will share the wealth that stems out of the Samudra Manthan. The Devas and Asuras especially had their eye on the Amrit which was expected to come out of the Samudra Manthan as well. 

The main elements used for the Samudra Manthan were: 

  • Mount Meru – Spindle of the Churn
  • Vishnu took the Avatar of Kurma to ensure the Mountain remained Afloat – He became the base of the Churn
  • Sesha (Vishnu’s Serpent) – became the rope that the Devas and Asuras pulled for the Churn and wound himself around the mountain

The Devas held the tail of the Sesha while the Asuras held the head.

Treasures from the Samudra Manthan

Once the churning started, it continued for 1000s of years. During this period, a number of gifts were bestowed upon the Devas and Asuras. A brief explanation of each of these treasures is given in the following table:

Name of the TreasureSignificance
RambhaOne of the Most Beautiful Apsaras
VaijayantiA Garland of Flowers that Never Withered
VaruniMost Exotic Wine which Never Lets a Person Get High
KamaGod of Love and Pleasure
DhanvantariGod of Health. It is said that he sprouted along with Goddess Lakshmi with Amrita in his hands. He also carried the cure of all diseases that humans would suffer.
AmritaJuice of ImmortalityThis started the never-ending war between Devas and Asuras. Devas stole it for themselves and left Asuras vulnerable.
UcchaishravaA Seven Headed Flying HorseIt is used by Indra to drive his chariot into battles.It is also said to be used by Bali at times. 
PanchajanyaConchIt is one of the most famous conches that was ever used.This is the same conch that was used by Krishna to declare wars for his arrival in Mahabharata and the onset of the Dvapar Yug. 
SarangaA BowIt is often associated with classical musical instruments and the bow used by Vishnu to enjoy music.
AiravataWhite ElephantThis is the same white elephant that becomes the Vahan or the official mode of transport for Indra.
KamadhenuCowThe significance of this cow is immense. It had the ability to fulfill every wish and ensure that the household of the owner was always filled with the most delicious dishes and foods. It later became the cause of contention between many individuals. 
Akshaya PatraA Pot of PlentyIt is a pot that is always filled with food and never lets the owner go hungry or the guests.
Kalpavriksha-ParijataA Divine TreeThe tree had the ability to fulfill wishes and would always be lushy and green. 
Chintamani KaustubhaA GemIt was a gem that gave life to all dreams or wishes that a person had. The person in possession of the Gem had all the treasures of the world. 
LakshmiGoddess of Money and ProsperityFinally towards the end of the Churn, Lakshmi emerges from the Ocean of Milk and restores prosperity in all realms
HalahalaThe PoisonThis is the same poison that was drunk by Shiva to save the world from dying. It is also called the pollution that came in the form of a gas and started spreading throughout the Ocean. It also signified the advance of Alakshmi who always comes along with Lakshmi.

Learnings from the Churning of the Ocean of Milk

As an individual, I learnt a big number of hidden meanings from the entire process of the churning of the Ocean of Milk. I have made a small list of my learnings, if any of these resonate with you, feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think:

  • Without the assistance of Vishnu or God, nothing can happen in your life.
  • Lakshmi or money and prosperity, demands sacrifice and a big amount of hard work. It does not just come to your doorstep due to luck. 
  • Alakshmi is Lakshmi’s sister that spreads bad omens and feeding her should come before serving sweets to Lakshmi herself. Upon research I found out that the hanging of Green Chillies and Lemon outside the main door of your homes can keep Alakshmi at bay (as this is one of her favourite foods). 
  • You cannot achieve anything in life without help. A person would always need friends and family members to help them through the worst times to reach the peak in their lives. 
  • Patience is the key to success. Perseverance and self-belief can help you go a long way!
  • Arrogance and disrespect to anyone can cause misfortune. It is essential for an individual to remain humble and down-to-earth even if he/she becomes the God of Heavens. Stay close to your roots and remind yourself about hardships of the journey you had to take to make it where you are today.
  • It is ok to seek help from the experts. They will always extend a hand of assistance to the best of their ability.
Pillars of Relationships

The 8 Core Foundations of Healthy Relationships: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence & Trust

You need to work on building and nurturing a strong and healthy relationship throughout your life. If you can understand and integrate the 8 pillars that form the cornerstone of a relationship, nothing can stop you from having a fulfilled and happy life. Humans are social beings, and bonding with loved ones is essential for their well-being–physical, mental, emotional, and psychological. Here’s a quick look at the most crucial aspects of all relationships, whether family, personal, professional, or romantic.

  1. Love

Love is the emotional connection you sense with a family member, romantic partner, or close friend. You may have heard about the adage: Love will set you free. It may sound cheesy, but it’s actually true. Being able to love and be loved by someone allows you to relax and be yourself, without having to maintain a mask. You can present your true self without fear of judgment and rejection. That is the first step toward a happier life.

  1. Honour

Honour is the next pillar of a strong relationship since it’s all about respecting your partner or loved one. Respect each other’s individuality, boundaries, opinions, and thought processes. Accept that you may not think alike and share the same interests, but accepting the other person just as they are, without pushing them to agree with you all the time, is crucial. It’s how you build lasting bonds. 

  1. Self-Control

Self-control requires effort, and it’s not always easy to do the right thing. Self-control is watching your words, actions, and behaviour to be respectful of your partner, colleagues, or family members. Be kind, and before saying or doing something, think of how that will impact the other person and your relationship with them. Self-control can also be about stopping yourself from being disrespectful, even when your loved one is not present. 

  1. Responsibility

Being responsible in your relationship is another of the core pillars. Whatever may be the dynamics of your relationship–work-related, family-related, or as friends, be ready to step up and shoulder your share of the tasks before you. Be committed, and when you take the responsibility for a task, make sure you complete it without making excuses. Being dependable is also taking responsibility. If a loved one asks for help or you offer it, make sure you follow through with real action–no excuses.

  1. Truth

Being truthful is a critical cornerstone of your relationship. Always be honest in your dealings with the people close to you. Many people seem to think that a small lie here and there won’t matter. The fact of the matter is–it absolutely does! Mainly because constant lies erode relationships and betray trust. Your loved ones will have a hard time believing anything you say, and it raises questions about your credibility and integrity. Being dependable allows people to believe in you.

  1. Faith

Any relationship is built on a strong foundation of trust. You can’t be suspicious of people all the time, but give them space by believing in them. Have faith in their bond with you. Never sink into the pattern of questioning their motives and asking questions about every word and action. That’s how you’ll build a secure foundation for a deeper connection. 

  1. Understanding

When you can demonstrate that you understand your loved one’s thoughts and feelings, it makes them feel closer to you. When spending time together, listen. And, by that I mean, genuinely listen, not just with your ears, but with your heart. Try to view situations from the other person’s perspective, offering compassion, sympathy, and unconditional support. 

  1. Communication

Conflicts and disagreements are a regular part of every relationship. We’re humans, and a difference of opinion can sometimes tear apart even the strongest of relationships. Don’t let that happen to you. The solution is very simple–communication. A heart-to-heart conversation in a safe environment can resolve even the most complex conflicts. Listen, understand, and offer your perspective. Then, find a middle ground to move forward. That’s how you’ll save the relationship and strengthen it. 

Humans are highly evolved emotional creatures, but that also makes our relationships very complex. But to secure and strengthen a relationship, you need to work on it. It’s how you demonstrate that the other person is valuable to you. Use these 8 pillars to create a new, robust foundation for every relationship in your life, and watch it thrive. 

Also read: Six Pillars of an Effective Life Coaching Process

Yama God as Dharmraja

Yama God as Dharmaraja: Justice, Karma, and the Afterlife in Sanatan Dharma

Hinduism is the only religion in the world today that gives a clear picture on the cycle of birth, rebirth and the journey of a soul, once the body is dead. The ancient texts share information on exactly what happens after death and answers your questions relating to ghosts, demons, angels etc. Rather than painting a fancy picture, our granth brings clarity on the deeds and misdeeds. It gives us a clear cut view of the consequences a person faces for the bad deeds done in a lifetime.

Even though God has created us, he has given us a free will as well. We are free to do whatever we want. You can either put into action every bad or good thought or control your bad thoughts and work on practicing only the good deeds. The choice is practically yours. 

Who is Yama God and Why is he called the Dharmaraj?

After the Sun God married Saranyu (daughter of Tvastr – the celestial artisan), she gave birth to twins who were named – Yama and Yami. Saranyu could not bear the heat and light that came from the Sun God. One day, she placed her shadow named Chaya in place of her to look after the twins and the rest of the duties. For a long period of time, the Sun God was unable to tell the difference between Saranyu and Chaya. This eventually led to Chaya giving birth to her own children from Surya. She also hated the stepchildren and often treated them badly. Yama once struck Chaya when he could not tolerate her misbehavior any longer. This gave away the disguise and the Sun God left in search for his wife. The rest of the story will be told another day!

There are different stories that estimate the reasons behind Yama becoming Yama God (The God of Death). The first story is that – Yami wanted to have children and reached out to Yama with love so she could become a mother. Yama hated the idea of incest and turned away. He asked his sister to seek another man for her desires as he regarded incest as one of the biggest sins.

Yama died without having children and thus became the first Pitr. He found himself trapped in the land of the dead. He did not have any children who could facilitate his rebirth in the land of the living. As he was the first of them all, he was given the task of becoming the God of Death and to direct all souls. It is also said that since Yami mourned for her brother, she became Yamini – the sad lady of the night. She became a part of the nature.

In another version of the story, it is said that when Yama kicked Chaya, his leg got infested with maggots. This act also put a curse on him and made him the God of Death.

On a related note:

For those of you who paid attention to the story of Mahabharata or watched the popular TV shows that narrate the story, you must be well aware that Yuddhishthir (eldest of the Pandava sons), was also called Dharmaraj. Don’t jump to the conclusion that Yuddhisthir is Yama God. Rather he was the son of Yama born from the womb of Kunti (the story of Yama God’s son being named as Pandava son will be discussed another day).

What are the Main Features of the Yama God?

Every God in the Sanatan Dharm has a role to play. As Lord Krishna said, everyone has to perform Karm. The roles and duties of every God are carefully outlined and the code of law is marked out for them to follow. Let’s break down the features and role of this God in a brief way. 

FeaturesRoles
Dark Skinned Ruler of the Dead – Carries the Soul as soon as it leaves the Body
Divine Mount is BuffaloRelentless and Monitors the Lifetime of a Soul
Carries a Mace in One Hand that signifies justiceDispassionate and Gives Fair Judgement
Carries a Noose that is Tied Around a SoulHe brings order and is known as the keeper of the laws of nature
Garland of FlamesDecides the Circumstances of the next life of a soul as per the deeds of the past life

According to the varied readings, you can easily say that Dharmaraj has complete control on his emotions. The internal or external circumstances do not affect him. His duty is to give strict adherence to the laws of the world. He is never seen to be biased towards anyone. The reflection of this conduct can be easily seen in the picturisation of the characteristics of Yudhishthir in the Mahabharata Purana as well. 

The Yama God is given the responsibility to keep an account of all the good and bad deeds. He is the ultimate Dharmaraja who walks along with a person throughout his lifetime. Quietly taking note of everything, he gives his judgement upon death alone. 

The Yama God as per our Vedas is not like the Devil or Lucifer as described in the Bible. He is not evil. He is just the carrier of the scales of justice and ensuring balance is his job. When a Pitr or a soul has debts to pay from the past lives, he makes sure the payment is done in the next or the next. The cycle goes on until you are debt free. For example, if you are an honest person, you will repay the money you owe to the bank in due time. The nature of deeds is just like the bank and account keeper is Yama God. 

Based on the deeds done in a particular life, the Yama God then decides the place, time, circumstances, family, type of body, fortunes and misfortunes etc. that are to be given to a particular soul in the next lifetime (when the time is right). 

Can you Escape the Cycle of Karma?

When you are sent back to the Bhuloka by Yama God to balance the scales of deeds and debts, a human being does not carry the memories of the past lives. So, how can one determine whether the debts are paid or which good deed to perform to ensure the scales are balanced for the next life? 

Another popular question that I have come across is – If we keep doing new karmas while trying to balance the old ones, is there ever an end to the cycle? You can never escape doing Karma. The following explanation might come of some help here:

Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita –

“कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥”

It means that performing Karma is the duty of every human being. Even if you draw a single breath or eat food, you are performing a Karma. The one thing that separates the good people from the bad is consuming only the amount you absolutely need. When people start knowing the difference between Need and Want that is when nature and the world starts thriving again. 

The only way to escape the cycle of karma, birth and rebirth – is to keep your actions in check at all times. Refrain from conducting any bad actions. A description of actions that constitute equities and debts will be explained in another post. Another way of escaping the cycle is meditation, spiritual growth and commitment to enlightenment. 

Your Spiritual growth and investment is the only thing that is carried forward by the soul from one birth to another. If you have not embarked on your journey to spiritualism, now is the time!

If you liked this article, you might also want to read about – Main Elements of Creation

Blog featured image

Boost Your Self-Worth: A Practical Guide to Building Inner Confidence

Many people lose their self esteem or self worth due to certain instances that might have happened in the past. The words someone might have said, the circumstances that we have gone through, and the environment that we live in, tend to cause a direct impact on self worth.

The following exercises have been compiled after careful consideration of the different ways to improve self esteem:

01.Make a list of the negative things that you feel about yourself. Identify them.

For example: I am not a good cook. Remind yourself of the times that someone complimented your cooking. Replace the negative thoughts with the positive ones. When you make a list of the negative things that you think about yourself, cross them and write a positive note in front of it instead.

02.Make a list of the positive things about yourself. Write it down.

For example: My handwriting is awesome. Your list of the positive things about yourself should keep growing. The more positives you can count when compared to the negative ones, the higher impact you can feel on the change in perception of yourself.

03.Start forming relationships that are positive.

Oftentimes, we keep talking and engaging with negative people because we have few people in our lives with whom to communicate. We let those people affect our psychological stability. We run after them despite the fact that they keep bringing us down. Replace those people with positive ones. 

If you don’t have positive relationships in life, then start talking to like-minded people as often as possible. Further, learn to close your mind against negative words and actions from the people around you. Start somewhere and talk positively. Being positive should become a habit. 

04.Take a Break

Never think that you have to be perfect all the time. You cannot be positive all the time. It’s ok to feel bad at times and negative. But, it is in your hands to replace the negative thoughts with the positive ones. It will only come with practice. Start being kind to yourself. Know your limitations and the things that cause frustrations.

Give yourself a treat every time you complete a hard task. Eat a chocolate, a donut.. Anything that you might like. Stop saying negative things about yourself to people. The more you hear negative things about yourself, the more you will start believing them. When you are tired, give yourself a break. Take smaller steps so you don’t be too harsh on yourself.

05.Physical Health Improvement

If you look good, you will definitely feel good. Physical health is often taken for granted. Imagine yourself looking in the mirror, half your current size or weight. You will automatically start feeling good about yourself, and your self-esteem will improve gradually. Make a routine and stick to it. Not for anyone else, but for yourself. Because you want to see a better version of yourself.

Self-esteem improvement does not happen in a day. It happens gradually and over time, by taking small, gradual steps. These first 5 steps should start making a difference in your life. Once you have integrated these 5 steps and you feel a change, we can start with the next 5.

PS: You are already awesome! We just need to make a few changes in the subconscious to make your consciousness feel better about yourself..

About Mitali Aggarwal

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Mitali Aggarwal

Spirituality and Life Coaching goes hand in hand. I learnt that the hard way. As I continue to grow in this Life’s journey, I aspire to help many more take the leap that they need.

Modern Sanatani

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